I understand you like to be contrary on any topic we discuss but this isn't just about impulse control, this is aggression. Aggression starts to show itself in kids as young as 2 and if they don't get it under control by age five, there are serious consequences to their behavior and mental health and how they are able to form bonds with other kids and adults. If a child doesn't learn delayed gratification by a very young age it's unlikely they will ever master it fully. If a child doesn't learn tantrums don't get you your way at an early age, that child will use those same manipulation tactics forever on. It gets dug into their neuro pathways and it's extremely hard to root out without some major psychological help. Their brains start losing so much elasticity and the pathways in their brains start to solidify. This is its so easy for a child under 5 to learn a complete language or two by 5 after that it becomes much more difficult. She didn't say the age of her sister but if she's being that manipulative already, there's a big problem. Of course she can't fix it, only her parents can but like alot of people, they probably think a child will naturally grow out of this kind of behavior. They don't. It gets worse the more it's allowed or reinforced by capitulation.I disagree, a child aged 5 and above may have most of their impulse control etc. sorted, but it's certainly NOT a done deal. Trust me, and talk to a teenager lol. It's not until around 7-8 that they will start to understand properly the link between actions and longer consequences, older than that and they understand it and will use it, but impulse control is still an issue with kids up to even age 25! There's a sort of dip in the middle where they are actually reasonable, but 13 are unreasonable xD. So I would say that less than age 5 maybe a kid is having a tantum because the world isn't right for them at that moment. 5 and above, to maybe 10, a kid throwing a tantrum is doing it for effect because they know it will get them, so YES parents need to deal with this, but it's not saying the kid is developmentally impaired and they are certainly not trying to break the family
I mean do I really need to start linking the countless studies on developmental growth between the ages of 1-4? I've read a ton of them and it's pretty clear that the outcomes for children who don't get socialized and civilized enough by age 5 are not good.
Raising 4 boys of my own, I can say for sure the most important developmental age and rapid brain growth happens before age 5. It's the foundation from which a child builds all other lessons on. It's so critical to take the right steps during those ages. And yes any child who hasn't learn those critical skills is developmentally behind. Period. I mean, that's not even up for debate.
Edited by Kikya, 28 November 2021 - 07:11 AM.
