After being hamsterless for three years, I am delighted to share that I now have a lil hammy in my life 
. Her name is Twiglet, she is my moon and stars and I have been forcing everyone I know to appreciate my new child (hence this post).
I'd been convinced that my hamster-owning journey was over. I was wrong. Here is the saga of how I came to be with fluffball.
cw: dodgy mental health, angst and drama (my life in a nutshell). If you are just here for the photos, I don’t blame you -- please scroll to the bottom.
~ Twiglet's Adoption Story ~
A few months ago, life took me down a road I never expected, and I spiralled into a pretty low place. One of my very dear friends met up with me and helped me to come up with a bucket list for the year ahead, so I wouldn't feel so bleak about my future.
Halfway into the conversation, she squealed and exclaimed, "You should get an emotional support hamster!"
(For context, this friend is fully aware of my undying love for hamsters, and constantly memes the amount of time I spend on a hamster forum. *cough* not me spending time on it right now *cough*)
I should have been excited about the idea. Instead, my only thought was, "Oh God, I can barely even look after myself, let alone another living thing."
So I didn't get a hamster. It was a nice little fantasy I pushed to the back of my mind, knowing that I didn't have the energy or willpower to make it a reality. I did make a few trips to Pets at Home as a way to force myself out of the house, but I didn't bother to bring a carrier, and the adoption section was sparse anyway.
The months passed by, I got help for my issues, and life became less overwhelming. I was browsing a second-hand website and came across an advert for a red-eyed hybrid dwarf in the next town from me. I showed my mum, who told me to go for it. Still, I was hesitant. My days of inactivity leading up to then had blurred into a depressed smear, and it was the first real responsibility I'd faced in ages. What if I'm a rubbish owner? What if I can't bring myself to love her? I should feel excited, why am I not excited? She deserves an owner who's mentally stable...
But I knew that constantly doubting myself and avoiding things wasn’t doing me any good. I pushed myself to respond to the advert. We arranged for collection that weekend. In preparation, I dug out all of my old hamster supplies from the garage, cleaned them up and set up the cage. I'd screenshotted a picture of the hammy on my phone, and as I kept looking back at it, I found myself finally starting to feel excited. She was beautiful.
The day before we'd scheduled the collection, the owner (who I'll call Hamster Owner #1, HO#1) messaged me saying there'd been a miscommunication, and hammy #1 was actually going to someone else.
I would have been dismayed, but another ad had popped up the same day for a hybrid dwarf in the exact same town as me, even closer than the previous ad. Hammy #2 was male, with a beige colouring, and delightfully rotund. With my cold hammy-heart having been thawed during the past week, it was love at first sight. I contacted the second owner (HO#2) immediately, who was happy to let me rehome him. It felt like fate. Hammy #2 and I were meant to be.
Later, I met up with my friend -- the one who'd told me to get an emotional support hamster -- and she was as hyped as I was. We talked all about hamster names, what I'd do when I got him, when she could come and meet him. I was genuinely happy, for the first time in a while, and the feeling was surreal.
When I got home that day, I received a notification for a message from HO#2. My heart was pounding. Oh God, what if she's cancelled on me like HO#1? But that couldn't be. It was just paranoia messing with my head. We'd already confirmed everything -- tomorrow, I was going to be a hamster owner.
I opened the message and, instantly, my heart sank. HO#2 had decided to keep her hamster, as she couldn't bear to part with him. My attempt to adopt a hammy had failed for the second time in a row, and the happiness I'd felt was snuffed out like a candle flame. I’d been so convinced things would work out, but I’d got my hopes up for nothing.
I wanted to be angry with HO#2, but couldn’t -- I could tell how much she loved him and, if I owned that adorable hammy, I'd find it impossible to part with him too. Really, all I could feel was numbness. That night, I gave in to my negative thoughts and wallowed in hamster grief. It was all pointless. I was never going to adopt a hamster. The universe was clearly intending to keep me and hamsters apart, and there was no point in trying anymore. (In retrospect, these thoughts were absurd, but guys, depression is not logical and does weird things to your head.)
My aunt came to visit while I was moping about losing hammy #2, and told me to check the Pets at Home in her area, as they’d be more likely to have hamsters for adoption. I just shrugged noncommittally. At this point, I didn’t want to think about hamsters anymore. I couldn’t bring myself to care.
The next morning, I was woken up by a phone-call from my dad. Turns out, while I’d been sleeping in until midday (like the lazy sod I am), he and my aunt had travelled to her local Pets at Home and found a hybrid dwarf available for adoption. “It looks like a skunk,” was my aunt’s helpful contribution.
My dad messaged me a photo, and my heart just melted.
“Yes,” I said. There was no question. “I want to adopt her.”
And that was that. Third time lucky.
Hammy #3 was mine. She arrived at her new home on Sunday 14th November.
Later on, I learnt what went down at the pet shop that day, and it was so funny I had to share. (For context, both my aunt and dad hate rodents due to bad childhood experiences with rats, so the fact that they did this for me is honestly heroic. I am eternally grateful and don’t know what I did to deserve them.)
P@H worker: isn’t she cute?
Dad and Aunt: *masking their disgust* mmhm yeah, so cute.
Aunt: *internally* ew rat gross.
P@H worker: *puts hammy #3 in two layers of cardboard boxes*
Dad: why do you need two boxes?
P@H worker: in case she chews through the first one.
Dad: *imagining hamster let loose in the car*
Dad: *horrified*
Dad: …let’s buy a plastic carrier instead.
So now I have two carriers xD
Anyway, back to the story…
I decided to name hammy #3 Twiglet, after the British marmite-flavoured snack that looks like knobbly twigs.
I’ve had Twiglet for two weeks now, and I feel like I’m still in the honeymoon stage of owning her. Everything is new and exciting, and I adore seeing her personality come through. I’d been living vicariously through my online friend’s hamsters for years, but it doesn’t compare to having one of my own. I love her. So much. My God.
Twiglet was abandoned after fighting with her cage-mate, so she probably came from a stressful home. She’s an anxious bean (like her owner), easily spooked, and yeets herself headfirst into the subterranean with so little bedding splash, Tom Daley could never. It’s been a challenge catching her above ground. Though, when I do see her, she's an adorable weirdo and full of energy. She's incredibly gentle and timid, is very selective about the treats she'll take from you, but she's becoming bolder every day. I'm so proud. I could watch that silly sausage for hours.
It's refreshing being able to use HH for its intended purpose of hamster care again, rather than going on here purely to socialise and post my bad writing xD My hamster knowledge has become rusty and I have much to learn! Twiglet’s cage is very reminiscent of 2010s hamster cages (slight yikes), i.e. flat bedding layer and lots of garish plastic toys, since I’m reusing old hamster supplies. But I am very much inspired by the natural cage designs people have posted on here. I’m currently shopping for new toys and substrates for her and making improvements. If you have any suggestions for making a limited space more enriching, please let me know!
A few days ago, I messaged a friend: “hamster cured my depression lol.” Obviously, it was a joke, but there was still some truth to it. Since adopting Twiglet, it's like the clouds have receded, and glimpses of sun are starting to shine through. I still struggle in many ways, and I'm definitely not out of the woods, but she gives me something to smile stupidly about every day, a small reminder that life is worth living. Whenever I’m spending time with her, I feel present, grounded, and I can forget about the chaos inside my head. I’ve felt more myself the past two weeks than I have in a long time.
To anyone else, Twiglet is “just a hamster” and I probably sound overdramatic. But I feel like, of all people, you guys would understand where I’m coming from. Twiglet has done more for me than I could have imagined. She’s put me a big step closer to recovery. I’m looking forward to the journey we share ahead, and I hope I can improve her life as much as she’s improved mine.
I’m sorry for the novel. I guess I wanted to document it for myself to have something to revisit later. I’m not really expecting anyone to read it all so if you’ve got this far, mad respect *fist bump*.
More photos coming in the next post 
).
