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Gone Dystopian book awesome if do say so myself

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#1 Guardian

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Posted 11 February 2022 - 08:33 AM

So, I love reading, and I've read a lotta books. I really love dystopian books, and Sci-fi, so I thought I'd make one. This is kinda based on "The City of Ember" since I really liked the idea of the world almost ending. Also, I read some ideas on the forum, and that inspired me.

 

Any tips or advice is appreciated!

 

Cover made by Me:

 

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Here's the thingie they put on the back of the cover. I tried to make it have no spoilers, but it still has a little bit:

The world is in pieces. It has been over a hundred years since the disaster. Nobody has truly gotten over it. Including Willow. When her mother gets sick, and her city nearly dies of starvation she must find a way to save them, even if it means going after a legend.

 

 

Prologue

     Sam ran through the brush, towards the sunlight and the green. 

     The bright vivid green. 

     He walked across the field, careful not to trip, and walked toward the sound of gurgling water. The air smelled fresher the closer he got to it, like all of the smog had been taken out of the world. 

     He reached the small stream and took a long drink. It tasted like heaven. 

     Sam glanced at the blue sky. It was beautiful. So beautiful. 

And nobody could know.

 

Chapter 1

 

     Willow ran through the streets, and saw a piece of metal sticking out of the soil. 

     Yes! Metal was hard to find. She would be able to get three days worth of food from this piece. Heavy footsteps thudded. 

     “Oh–shoot.” She muttered. More scrappers, probably getting ready to steal it from her. 

      Willow ran, nimbly dodging pieces of broken cement, and jumping over fallen pieces of building. 

     And yet, she still heard the footsteps behind her—so when she passed a metal bar sticking out of a building she grabbed on, swinging herself up onto the roof of a building. She picked up a couple useful objects along the way. 

     A stick, and a scrap of cloth. 

     Today really was her lucky day. 

     She continued running, swinging herself onto roofs, under pieces of cement. When she stopped hearing footsteps behind her she slowed, and sat down on the hard floor of a broken down road, panting hard. She tied up her hair with her only ribbon—something she’d found buried in a ditch. 

     Then she stood up again, and continued. It wasn’t safe to be out right now. The street was full of gangs. 

     Things were different then they had been. Life had changed. 

     Some people called it an apocalypse. She call it a disaster. 

     The disaster happened a long time ago. She don’t know exactly when, but it was before her mom was born. In fact, it happened before her grandmother. 

     It was when their world nearly got destroyed. 

     There were wars everywhere. And sicknesses erupted. Everything went extinct, and climate change got worse. 

     All the trees were gone. 

     The humans barely lived. Now, they resort to scavenging for water and food. Sometimes, they can sell something to people who can actually buy it. 

     But one day, they'll run out of food, water and shelter. Her mom says it, Lula says it, and Willow say it. 

     She hoped that happened a long time later.

     Sometimes, Willow wished she didn’t live like this, that she could see the world, for what it had been. But, she’d lived her whole life like this, and it was hard to imagine a forest, or trees. In fact, her name was after a tree—pretty odd considering her mom had never seen one. But her mom said she’d seen pictures. And those pictures showed a beautiful swaying tree. And, Mom had to name her after that. 

     A loud whoosh swept through the alley and Willow jumped—but it was just a curtain. 

     She strode through the curtain, dropping her small scavenging bag, and walking into her room.

 

To be continued.


Edited by Guardian, 13 February 2022 - 12:21 PM.

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#2 lilhams~uwu

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Posted 11 February 2022 - 12:01 PM

bROOO i love your writing style ?? i don't know why but it's so smooth like butter sofks and i. it's also kinda poetic at the same time ?? i don't know why ?? maybe it's just my braincells dying right now but i am really hyped for how this goes !! also oooo an aoclgtpyaosle /???? an apologyacase. this isn't going very well,,,,, but again this seems really interesting dude and again i am following viciously for more updates <333


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#3 Guardian

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Posted 11 February 2022 - 12:15 PM

bROOO i love your writing style ?? i don't know why but it's so smooth like butter sofks and i. it's also kinda poetic at the same time ?? i don't know why ?? maybe it's just my braincells dying right now but i am really hyped for how this goes !! also oooo an aoclgtpyaosle /???? an apologyacase. this isn't going very well,,,,, but again this seems really interesting dude and again i am following viciously for more updates <333

Thanks! I might've gotten a bit carried away in the intro, and a bit dramatic in the middle of the chapter. Also, I basically only added the word Apocolypse because it sounds cool and because it makes me sound smart lol. It's actually pretty fun to write, but be prepared for cliffhangers, because I am a cruel author *Evil laugh* 


Edited by Guardian, 11 February 2022 - 12:16 PM.

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#4 midget7

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Posted 11 February 2022 - 08:37 PM

Love this! So creative! (You had me at “streets full of gangs” haha I am so here for the edgy drama.) My only suggestion is to leave spaces or indents between paragraphs to make the formatting easier to read but other than that it’s fantastic, keep it up :D

#5 ForgetfulBreeze

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Posted 11 February 2022 - 10:27 PM

Love thissss!!! Love the plot an your writing style! All of it, basically xD



#6 Guardian

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Posted 11 February 2022 - 11:53 PM

Love this! So creative! (You had me at “streets full of gangs” haha I am so here for the edgy drama.) My only suggestion is to leave spaces or indents between paragraphs to make the formatting easier to read but other than that it’s fantastic, keep it up :D

 

Thank you! I actually write this on a google docs, then copy and paste it in, so the format is weird. I'll try to do that.

Love thissss!!! Love the plot an your writing style! All of it, basically xD

Thanks!



#7 ♥~kitkat7♥

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Posted 11 February 2022 - 11:55 PM

So cool!
I love this!!



#8 Iszie

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Posted 12 February 2022 - 04:50 AM

Woahhh!! I love this! 

 

Your writing style is super similar to mine, except for the fact that I don't have the brains to come up with this. Your plot is so creative! 

 

I agree with others, the formatting isn't great to read, but the actual content is fab! :thumbsup:



#9 Guardian

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Posted 12 February 2022 - 07:48 AM

So here's the finished part of Chapter 1. Not that much interesting stuff, but there's a new character! 

 

Edit: Added more to the chapter since I wanted to end on a cliffhanger. 

 

Chapter 1 (Continued)

      Mom was sitting upright on the bed, looking out the window when she came in.

      “What are you doing?” Willow asked. “You’re supposed to be in bed!”

     “I know.” Mom said. “But I can’t stay lying in bed all day.”

      “But you need your rest. You’re sick.”

     “I needed to stretch a bit, I’m fine. See?” Mom spread out her arms, like that made it clear she was fine.

     Willow sighed, knowing there was no way she could win a fight with her mom. 

     “Fine.” She glanced out the broken glass of the used-to-be window. “I’m gonna go see Lula, maybe she can find a buyer for this.” Willow held up the scrap of metal she found.

      Mom gave her a wide smile. “You found metal! That’s great!”

      Willow was happy to see her mom so happy—but then Mom erupted into coughs, and Willow sat down beside her patting her back. 

      “Be careful,” She instructed. “I’ll be back soon.”

      Her mom nodded, her chest heaving with heavy breaths, and Willow went outside. She crossed the street, then climbed into an open sewer. There were other ways to get to Lula’s house, especially since it was only two blocks away, but it was almost nighttime, and she had a precious object in her satchel. 

      The gravel crunched under her feet as she made her way through the sewer. After ten minutes, she climbed up a ladder and popped up on the other side. She glanced around warily, before crossing the street into an abandoned store. Lula’s home.

     The front of the store had a faded seven-eleven sign, and most of the paint was peeled back. But Lula being Lula had found a way to make the store cozy. One corner of the store had a pile of blankets, and she’d found some abandoned furniture to tuck in another. 

      “Lula?” Willow called out. “Lulu?

      “I’m here.” Lula called out from behind one of the few shelves left behind. “I’m just organizing some of the stuff I found.”

      Lula was like a sister to Willow, especially since her mom got sick. She’d known her since she was a small child. 

      “How’s your mom?” Lula asked when she finally came out.

      “Fine.” Willow sighed. “She’s coughing more, and I can’t find enough water to help. Our food’s going down, and I’m trying to get her to eat more but she keeps refusing.”

     “I’m sorry.” Lula said, her eyes watery. “You wanna stay for dinner with me?”

     “Thanks,” She replied. “But I’ve got to find some food for Mom.”

     “Oh! I know! I can send you some food on the way back too.”

     “But you won’t have enough!”

     “No, I do. I found a new seller for a club, and they traded some rice. You have to.”

     Willow sighed again. Lula was such a mom. 

     “I can’t. You won’t have enough.” Willow repeated.

     “I will.” She said firmly, then she leaned closer to her and whispered, “And they gave bread.”

     “Okaaaaay fiiiiine.” She pulled out the piece of metal from her bag. “I needed you to trade this.”

     “Sure!” Lula took the metal piece and put it behind the counter. “Let’s have dinner!”

 

     Willow walked out of the seven-eleven building with her arms full of random items like pieces of wood—for protection, as Lula had said—and some cans of corn. She was less worried than she had been before—since Lula was such a  chatterbox.

     Willow walked home happily.

    Maybe things wouldn’t be so bad. 

 

Willow woke up to the sound of coughing. Mom was having another fit. 

Willow sat up and patted her mom’s back. 

“Are you okay?” She asked Mom.

Mom didn’t respond, and her whole body racked with the coughs.

“Are you okay?” Willow repeated.

“I’m fine.” Mom croaked, although her eyes still looked a bit watery. 

Willow didn’t believe it, but she walked away anyway. Instead, she went to check on their food stores.

Fermented apples.[I know that isn't a curse, but it keeps getting censored, sooo.] Willow said. All of the food and water was gone. Somebody had stolen it. 


Edited by Guardian, 12 February 2022 - 02:21 PM.

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#10 Guardian

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Posted 12 February 2022 - 10:36 AM

So, here are the character's info just in case you  wanna know. I just wanted to give credit to Iszie who made this template, in the Writer's Club.

 

Also, these images are a bit too big, so sorry!

 

 

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Just imagine her a bit younger.

General Information

Name: Willow

Nickname: Have not come up with any yet.

Name meaning: The tree.

Age: 12ish? I Don't know her b-day.

Birthday: ?

Gender: Female

Zodiac sign: ?

Eye colour: Brown with golden flecks

Hair Colour: Chocolate hair, blond highlights

Other: Olive skin

 

Speech

Pitch of voice: Higher? idk

Accent or languages spoken: American accent

 

Personality

Favourite phases: I do n

Brief personality description: Protective, caring, determined

Flaws: Skeptical, Little bit sarcastic

Obsessions: None, currently (No spoilers!)

Extrovert/Introvert/Ambivert: Ambivert

Personality type: Ummmmmm, I don’t really know.

 

Favourites

Favourite animal: None. They’re all extinct

Favourite subject: None.

Favourite food: Likes bread (Weird favorite, but remember she doesn’t have a wide choice!”

Favourite colour: None.

Favourite thing to do: Scavenge.

Other: Really likes running, scavenging as a hobby 

 

Any other information

  1. Dad is unknown (abandoned them or something?)

  2. Cares about her mom a lot.

  3. Hates letting people boss her around.

 

 

 

"> oM6kf0P.png

 

General Information

Name: Lula

Nickname: Lulu

Name meaning: Warrior

Age: 13 or 14ish? I Don't know her b-day.

Birthday: ?

Gender: Female

Zodiac sign: ?

Eye colour: Greenish brown

Hair Colour: Black hair

Other: Pale skin

 

Speech

Pitch of voice: Not sure.

Accent or languages spoken: American accent

 

Personality

Favourite phases: I do not know.

Brief personality description: Master of worrying, great bargainer, overprotective

Flaws: Too overprotective

Obsessions: None, currently (No spoilers!)

Extrovert/Introvert/Ambivert: Ambivert

Personality type: The mom

 

Favourites

Favourite animal: None. They’re all extinct

Favourite subject: None.

Favourite food: Likes rice (Weird favorite, but remember she doesn’t have a wide choice!”

Favourite colour: None.

Favourite thing to do: Talk with Willow, read (with the few books she has)

Other: Likes to talk about books she’s read.

 

Any other information

  • Lost her parents at a young age.

  • Super, duper responsible.

  • Disapproves of cursing and bad language

 

 


Edited by Guardian, 13 February 2022 - 06:00 AM.

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#11 Guardian

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Posted 13 February 2022 - 06:20 AM

Sorry for only doing bits and pieces, I'm a slow writer. Hopefully this chapter is interesting. I'm wondering if anybody wants me to continue? I'm thinking of posting Part 2 later, but I'm not sure if anybody wants to read it.

  Chapter 2 (Part 1)

     Willow checked under every rock.

     But there was nothing. 

     Willow felt numb.

     She’d lost food before—in fact more than once—but never all of it.

      And she needed it so badly right now. What was she going to feed Mom?

      What was she going to feed herself?

      She could always ask Lula, but Willow knew that Lula didn’t have as much as she pretended to have. Plus, she’d already taken enough from Lula. 

      “Curse those gangs.” She muttered.

      Her stomach grumbled, like it was complaining too. 

      Willow stared at the empty jug that used to be filled with water.

      Gone.

      All of it was gone.

      Willow felt anger grow in her, and kicked the wall—which turned out to be a not-so-good idea, since now her head and foot throbbed.

      Then, another worry built up inside her. What if they had found her other stash?

      She stood up to check on the other stash, which was full of personal objects, mostly stuff her mom had found, or inherited.

      Willow opened the thick, scratchy fabric of the bag and let out a breath of relief.

      They were still there.

      She pulled out a thick notebook filled with loopy handwriting. 

      Willow had read parts of the stories before—or at least the parts she understood, she still couldn’t figure out what pizza was—but she never read through the whole thick book. 

      She flipped to a  random page in the book landing on a story simply labeled, “The Grove”. 

      According to the book, ‘The Grove’ was the last grove of trees left in the world. The legend was that it was the only grove that survived, because it was left in secret and was fed by an underwater spring that could heal. 

      But many people thought of it as a myth, after all, how could there be such a paradise left from such a long time ago? 

      Still, Willow couldn’t stop the hope from building up inside her.

      Could she really save her mom?


Edited by Guardian, 13 February 2022 - 12:30 PM.

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#12 Tiny Ball Of Fuzz

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Posted 13 February 2022 - 06:54 AM

Spoiler

Oooooo...


Edited by Tiny Ball Of Fuzz, 13 February 2022 - 06:54 AM.


#13 lilhams~uwu

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Posted 13 February 2022 - 07:30 AM

Guardian.. please continue. If not for me, then for you!! Writing's supposed to be fun, and I really hope that you're enjoying this story. Also, I myself am really interested in where this is going so loll. :rotfl: :thumbsup:


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#14 Guardian

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Posted 13 February 2022 - 09:40 AM

I guess I'll continue. . .

Does anyone have any good boy names? I'm trying to come up with a new character, but I can't come up with unique boy names that actually sound good.



#15 lilhams~uwu

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Posted 13 February 2022 - 09:49 AM

I guess I'll continue. . .

Does anyone have any good boy names? I'm trying to come up with a new character, but I can't come up with unique boy names that actually sound good.

 

Caspian, Lucas, George, Ryan, Raiden, William, Bennett, Tristian, Kaden, Lancer, Xavien, Quinton, Sam/Samuel, Roman, Oliver, Darien, Dylan.

If you need more, I have this name generator that has helped me sO MUCH with characters. Here! https://blog.reedsy.com/character-name-generator/ 


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