2 replies to this topic

[ChloesCritters]

Everything is solved!

Edited by ChloesCritters, 16 May 2022 - 05:34 PM.

[Iszie]

Firstly, could you please make the image in your siggy smaller or put it in a spoiler as I think it exceeds the limit and it's not ideal to have to scroll down so far on every one of your posts. 

 

Okay, I hope you don't mind me assuming that you're a much younger person. Don't worry, it's not a bad thing to have these thoughts, but when you're older you realise that this is not so much of a problem. Your friend is allowed to spend time with other people, but does that mean that she doesn't like you? Not at all! Does it mean that you've done something wrong? Certainly not! What does it mean? It means that she'd like to spend time with the other person, and that's okay, we respect that. So whilst you might feel jealous, upset, worried, wishing for her to have invited you - don't mention this to your friend as it can be viewed as she might feel uncomfortable/stressed to meet your expectations. I know you don't mean that, but the best thing to do is: smile, be kind just like the usual and maybe even invite her to your house if you like. Then she'll feel happy and comfortable around you, meaning that she's likely to want to spend more time with you! 

 

Instead, chat to your parents and tell them that you feel left out. Or if you find it embarrassing, keep it to yourself and distract yourself. Most likely in a few hours your emotions would have calmed down and you'd feel much better about the situation. 

 

The main thing to learn is: don't engage when your negative emotions are at a high. This could lead to an escalation of the thoughts and the situation, making it seem much worse than it actually is. And if you say or do something, you might regret it. 

 

It seems as if you've told your friends that you're jealous, and acted sad/disappointed on the call. This is okay, it's in the past, but try avoid engaging when your emotions are so strong next time. Leave it until later, when you're calm. If they call you and you don't want to talk to them, that's perfectly okay (they should respect your choice), but don't join the call. Just leave the call, say you can't call right now. Anyways, back to what's happened. I wouldn't be surprised if they feel worried about you, worried about how much they upset you. So if you feel better, calm, happy and positive, go ahead and talk to them. Call them, invite them to your house. Be friendly and happy. They'll hopefully feel friendly and happy too, and as a whole that will make you feel happier that you've made them happy. 

 

So don't worry about the past, there's no point on dwelling on it. Find something fun for you all to do, and remember my advice for the future.  

[ChloesCritters]

 

I didn't know about the limits of siggys thanks for  reminding!

 

I didn't actually tell them that I was jealous. I just kind of stayed quiet but the way i worded it made it seem like i said i told them that i was jealous. (I was kind of passive aggressive????) I apologized to both of them and were good.

 

I will remember your advice! Thanks