235 replies to this topic

[MerryBB]

(kids under 14 probably shouldn't click this spoiler it's pretty heavy, not forum-inappropriate or anything just.. viewer discretion? OR don't click it no matter how old you are)

Spoiler

I started texting with a boy from my Drivers ED class, and he seemed decent and fun to talk to in person.. but he's been dumping a lot of really heavy stuff on me in text and acting like I'm his only vent. His family (or, rather, his mum and aunt) are at least emotionally abusive. He's just a kid and it really sounds like he's not OKAY but I'm a kid too, I can't be his rock: this isn't my area. And I'm scared he's going to do something (hurt himself, light up, I truly don't know) but at the same time.. he's not my responsibility. It's not my fault or my business. Of course I care about him, because he really is just a kid and he's hurting and I'd want someone to help if I wasn't happy/safe at home.. but I'm starting to dread his texts and I don't know if I want to see him on Monday.

 

And whenever I comfort him or say something normal & upbeat (I joked around a bit about the topic of our Drivers ED lesson, showed him a picture of Moke [which he complimented and then immediately followed up with how he was mad at his family for something legitimately seriously concerning that they had done to him], etc) he just gets really clingy (I hate saying that about him but it's true) and I'm not sure I feel about how affectionate/possessive he sounds. (Even when he seems okay.. this just does not feel like a comfortable level of affection for someone I barely know.)

 

I was worried that he had a crush on me when he first asked for my number, because I'm gay but it's not the first thing I tell people about and I guess my friendliness could be mistaken for flirting? Now I'm worried he's going to be toxic, and I'm actually scared because if I do end up having to let him down and he turns out violent (physically or verbally) what do I do. Do I try to say "I'm not interested" instead of "I'm gay, sorry". I'm usually just mildly interested about how a not-quite-friend might take my little "coming out" speech because I have always been safe, my parents and at least 2/3 of my family will love me no matter what, I don't go to a physical public school so I don't have to worry about bullying from classmates..

 

I just don't know. I'm not in danger, not really, but this could go south and spark some depression which I haven't had to deal with (seriously) for years and I dooon't need this.

 

Maybe I should make another friend at D.E? It's easier for me to talk to boys most of the time: but maybe it would be better for me to try and reach out to one of the girls in that class. There's one who sits across from me (and she's cute, oh my goodness she's cute) and I think maybe I could talk to her? Maybe?

 

I know it would also help to be able to meet up with my best friend. I haven't seen her in so long, since school started, and she's already done with DE so I don't get to see her at her school. Just.. after all this with K (aforementioned text-relationship guy) I really miss her and every time I've felt awkward around her just feels so stupid. But she's really busy and we both have packed school schedules. But I haven't been able to text her a lot like usual and it would just be soo much better if I could talk to her in person. Maybe I'll call her.

[Pookie&Biscuit]

(kids under 14 probably shouldn't click this spoiler it's pretty heavy, not forum-inappropriate or anything just.. viewer discretion? OR don't click it no matter how old you are)

Spoiler

I started texting with a boy from my Drivers ED class, and he seemed decent and fun to talk to in person.. but he's been dumping a lot of really heavy stuff on me in text and acting like I'm his only vent. His family (or, rather, his mum and aunt) are at least emotionally abusive. He's just a kid and it really sounds like he's not OKAY but I'm a kid too, I can't be his rock: this isn't my area. And I'm scared he's going to do something (hurt himself, light up, I truly don't know) but at the same time.. he's not my responsibility. It's not my fault or my business. Of course I care about him, because he really is just a kid and he's hurting and I'd want someone to help if I wasn't happy/safe at home.. but I'm starting to dread his texts and I don't know if I want to see him on Monday.

 

And whenever I comfort him or say something normal & upbeat (I joked around a bit about the topic of our Drivers ED lesson, showed him a picture of Moke [which he complimented and then immediately followed up with how he was mad at his family for something legitimately seriously concerning that they had done to him], etc) he just gets really clingy (I hate saying that about him but it's true) and I'm not sure I feel about how affectionate/possessive he sounds. (Even when he seems okay.. this just does not feel like a comfortable level of affection for someone I barely know.)

 

I was worried that he had a crush on me when he first asked for my number, because I'm gay but it's not the first thing I tell people about and I guess my friendliness could be mistaken for flirting? Now I'm worried he's going to be toxic, and I'm actually scared because if I do end up having to let him down and he turns out violent (physically or verbally) what do I do. Do I try to say "I'm not interested" instead of "I'm gay, sorry". I'm usually just mildly interested about how a not-quite-friend might take my little "coming out" speech because I have always been safe, my parents and at least 2/3 of my family will love me no matter what, I don't go to a physical public school so I don't have to worry about bullying from classmates..

 

I just don't know. I'm not in danger, not really, but this could go south and spark some depression which I haven't had to deal with (seriously) for years and I dooon't need this.

 

Maybe I should make another friend at D.E? It's easier for me to talk to boys most of the time: but maybe it would be better for me to try and reach out to one of the girls in that class. There's one who sits across from me (and she's cute, oh my goodness she's cute) and I think maybe I could talk to her? Maybe?

 

I know it would also help to be able to meet up with my best friend. I haven't seen her in so long, since school started, and she's already done with DE so I don't get to see her at her school. Just.. after all this with K (aforementioned text-relationship guy) I really miss her and every time I've felt awkward around her just feels so stupid. But she's really busy and we both have packed school schedules. But I haven't been able to text her a lot like usual and it would just be soo much better if I could talk to her in person. Maybe I'll call her.

oh wow im so sorry i wish i could help....talk to a friend or an adult for advice. of course my advice is worth a grain of salt.

[Pookie&Biscuit]

I'm really stressed about bear. He lives in a 50 gallon bin cage, last night i saw him chewing on the mesh, monkey bar climbing and pacing. I had stayed up late last night (only 11:00) So i'm preety sure hes done this before while i've been sleeping. And i didn't know. 

 

I also have two friends, I'll call the boy L and the girl T. A few nights ago T told me she liked L. Last night I was talking to L on discord, and i asked him who he had a crush on, he said he liked T. But i promised them both I would'nt say a thing about thier crushes. Its killing me though, to know they both like each other but neither of them know...If someone knew my crush liked me back I would want them to tell me. But I don't want to break my promise to L and T. 

Edited by Pookie&Biscuit, 23 September 2018 - 05:39 AM.

[MerryBB]

oh wow im so sorry i wish i could help....talk to a friend or an adult for advice. of course my advice is worth a grain of salt.

 

I got to talk to the Best Friend I mentioned! It's very kind of you to reply I actually forgot I posted my vent here, I hope it wasn't too upsetting: I'm am terrible at regulating my tone in those things ^^'

 

I hope things turn out well with little Bear! Maybe you could make him a sort of shelf/platform, so you can put more toys and things in his bin? I put a sheet of cardboard (flattened box) on top of a single wire shelving unit in Moke's tank and he just loves being able to burrow underneath it and scoot around on top of it when I scatter seeds & millet around.

 

And I think it's lovely that you're so loyal to your friends, I personally would not be able to stop myself from spilling the beans immediately 

[Pookie&Biscuit]

I got to talk to the Best Friend I mentioned! It's very kind of you to reply I actually forgot I posted my vent here, I hope it wasn't too upsetting: I'm am terrible at regulating my tone in those things ^^'

 

I hope things turn out well with little Bear! Maybe you could make him a sort of shelf/platform, so you can put more toys and things in his bin? I put a sheet of cardboard (flattened box) on top of a single wire shelving unit in Moke's tank and he just loves being able to burrow underneath it and scoot around on top of it when I scatter seeds & millet around.

 

And I think it's lovely that you're so loyal to your friends, I personally would not be able to stop myself from spilling the beans immediately 

Thanks for the advice! I'm glad you got to talk to your friend! I'm hoping my parents willl let me buy another bin to make a second bin cage. They shoud let me, as I would pay for and build it myself. I'll just have to see how things turn out!

[Tango~]

So lately my dear grandma has not been doing well. She had cancer about a year ago, and then she miraculously got over the cancer. But, recently she took a fall. She was so hurt she couldn't move hardly at all, it was too painful. She was in so much pain. We took her to the hospital and they x-rayed her. They found out she broke her back and has a tumor growing on her back. She was at the point where it was incredibly painful to even move at all. She has been at this hospital place for the past week, we thought she was getting better. Today she went to a doctor's appointment, and they gave her only 8 more weeks to live. We will be lucky if we get to spend Christmas with her.   I am so sad and heartbroken, I was so close to her. We would talk, shop, play games together, etc. She would take me special places. I have been crying for hours, and I am so worried for what is going to happen. I always thought she would be there when I graduated, got married, etc. But now I know she won't.   I know after she dies, she won't feel pain and will be in a better place, but I can't stand the thought of losing her. I keep thinking of all the happy times, and all I can do is think "if only I knew" I would've cherished that time so much more. For the last few months of her life, she can barely talk, she can't move, and is still in so much pain. I am so miserable seeing her like this. I don't know what to do in this last few weeks. She used to be so full of life, energetic, and happy. I am sorry for rambling, I can't even barely write this without breaking down. I am so worried.

Edited by Tangothehamster, 28 September 2018 - 08:19 AM.

[missgallifrey]

I'm going to put a spoiler on my text. It turned out to be a diary or confession-like text and the purpose was for me to just ventilate and get some thoughts out of my system.
I've written about some family issues and my mental health, so it's no directly dark or inappropriate, but I do want to caution young readers.
 
 

Spoiler

My life has been a roller coaster, but I've been feeling pretty good the last few years. I've gone through a severe depression and been hospitalized three times for it, but somehow I pulled though it and survived. But now it feels like I'm on my way on slipping down that dark and twisted spiral again. I'm overwhelmed by my studies and extra responsibilities. I'm a student representative in my program's council, a mentor to a girl and vice president of a fraternity. I've said yes to too many things and jobs, and all the stress has now caught up with me. I'm too exhausted to study, and as a straight A-student I have a very hard time coping with the possibility of failing classes.
 
And add to that - my father is newly retired and he spends time at the local pub and then lies about it. He even goes so far as to lie about where he's been without me even asking him. During the weekends I can hear him from my room how he's in he kitchen, silently and slowly opening a can of beer, chugs it down, throws away the can and then returns to the living room and my mum. He drinks every weekend, but my mum is not aware of exactly how much. I've found empty cans hidden behind chairs that he's forgotten to throw away, and sometimes I can walk out to the kitchen and find a drink hidden behind the food mixer (presumably there so he can take quick tours to the kitchen and take sips without mum knowing it). 
I'm not supposed to know this. But I do. And I don't know what to do about this information. My dad's always been drinking a lot during weekends, but now that he's older he can't tolerate it. He's 65 but drinks as if he were in his 30's. Age makes you more intolerant to alcohol, but he refuses to acknowledge it. So I know that if I were to tell my mum about it I'd probably start a civil war in our family. And I just can't handle that for the moment. 
 
So here I am, stuck with knowledge of secrets and lies I shouldn't and don't want to know, and there's no good way out. If I keep my mouth shut I'm responsible for enabling his drinking habits, but if I confront it I'd unleash our family's fifty-eleventh fight about him and drinking, and history shows that absolutely no criticism about his drinking habits sticks to him. He knows he's wrong, but refuses to admit it, so whenever we fight he usually just turns off, lets the words flow into one ear and out through the other without caring about their meaning. So basically - speaking up is futile.
But I have this aching pit in my stomach right now. I'm nauseous because of all the suppressed anger and frustration this whole situation causes. I feel so stuck. A part of me just wants to disappear from my house until the weekend is over.
 
What scares me the most about feeling down is the possibility of me letting all the bad thoughts in again because of all the stress. And this time I'm alone. I'm alive because of one little creature: Lexie. She was my best friend and the absolutely most wonderful cat in the world, but age got to her. During the toughest period of my life she was the only one I really talked to. She laid beside me in bed next to my pillow, purred and comforted me through tears. She guarded me and gave me sad and accusing eyes whenever I felt like doing something bad to myself. I'm not lying or exaggerating when I say that she's the only reason I survived. But she didn't survive past August 10th this year. Whatever I'll go through from now on I won't have her next to me in my bed...
 
But on the upside I have my hammies now. They're my anchor, the furry little creatures that makes me get out of bed to feed and take care of them. And I don't think I will fall as deep down the depression hole again, or at least I'd like to think that I've gathered enough mental tools and experiences to pull myself through it. I think it's good for me to focus on things I can control. I've had my hammies for like a month and I've already read up on most information about care available, spent over 450 dollars on hamster supplies; built popsicle toys, bridges and houses and constructed a large cage from two IKEA Platsa modules for them. Just a few hours ago I ordered Ferplast tubes for over a hundred dollars (no regrets, lol). So... I may have a veeery expensive way of coping with all the difficult emotions and situations, but at least something good comes out of it. 

[midget7]

So lately my dear grandma has not been doing well. She had cancer about a year ago, and then she miraculously got over the cancer. But, recently she took a fall. She was so hurt she couldn't move hardly at all, it was too painful. She was in so much pain. We took her to the hospital and they x-rayed her. They found out she broke her back and has a tumor growing on her back. She was at the point where it was incredibly painful to even move at all. She has been at this hospital place for the past week, we thought she was getting better. Today she went to a doctor's appointment, and they gave her only 8 more weeks to live. We will be lucky if we get to spend Christmas with her.   I am so sad and heartbroken, I was so close to her. We would talk, shop, play games together, etc. She would take me special places. I have been crying for hours, and I am so worried for what is going to happen. I always thought she would be there when I graduated, got married, etc. But now I know she won't.   I know after she dies, she won't feel pain and will be in a better place, but I can't stand the thought of losing her. I keep thinking of all the happy times, and all I can do is think "if only I knew" I would've cherished that time so much more. For the last few months of her life, she can barely talk, she can't move, and is still in so much pain. I am so miserable seeing her like this. I don't know what to do in this last few weeks. She used to be so full of life, energetic, and happy. I am sorry for rambling, I can't even barely write this without breaking down. I am so worried.

 

I'm so, so sorry to hear this, Tangothehamster :( No one deserves to go through this. My grandma took a fall and injured her back a while ago too, but thankfully she is on a gradual recovery. I'm not going to pretend that i can understand what you are going through, but I do know that, if that happened to me, I would be devastated. Try not to have regrets about the time you spent with her, or that you didn't appreciate it enough; it's clear that you had a close bond and lovely experiences with her, try to focus on the happiness in these memories. Some things are out of your control, but you will get through them, and they will make you a stronger person. Your grandma sounds like a beautiful, strong lady. I know I'm just a random person on the internet, but know that I care and I'm here if you ever want to talk to someone. My thoughts are with you and your grandma. Best wishes through this difficult time xx

[Tango~]

I'm so, so sorry to hear this, Tangothehamster :( No one deserves to go through this. My grandma took a fall and injured her back a while ago too, but thankfully she is on a gradual recovery. I'm not going to pretend that i can understand what you are going through, but I do know that, if that happened to me, I would be devastated. Try not to have regrets about the time you spent with her, or that you didn't appreciate it enough; it's clear that you had a close bond and lovely experiences with her, try to focus on the happiness in these memories. Some things are out of your control, but you will get through them, and they will make you a stronger person. Your grandma sounds like a beautiful, strong lady. I know I'm just a random person on the internet, but know that I care and I'm here if you ever want to talk to someone. My thoughts are with you and your grandma. Best wishes through this difficult time xx

Thank you so much. Your kind and caring words have made me feel better. That is good that you grandma is getting better. I feel like I have started to accept the fact that she is leaving. I am trying to make the most of the limited time we have left together. Thank you again for your really caring words, it has made me feel a lot better. 

[Pookie&Biscuit]

I feeling really self conscious about my looks. I never want to wear shorts, because my legs are terribly scarred. I'm really embarrassed, but have to wear shorts every day to school. No one has said anything, but I'm so embarrassed and try to hide them beneath the table every chance I get.

I'm a girl and this boy is always bugging me. He'll call me this nickname only my best friends call me. He'll come over and tap on my shoulder and say repeatedly 'hey best friend' I'm getting really annoyed with him. If I ever get mad he'll just look at me and say 'take it easy man' Like me and my friend were having a heated discussion during lunch and he just walked up and sat between the two of us and just said 'take it easy man' He said in his last school he would always get in trouble for fighting. He purposely bumped me and one of my guy friends walked up and asked him straight out, 'are you really gonna fight a girl?' Of course this made me pretty mad, as I'm surprisingly strong after years of farm work and my brother always play fighting with me. But I really doubt he'd actually hit me, or try and start a fight. He'll just do dumb stuff like step on my lunch box and crush my chips or cut in front of me and smile. Sometimes we'll just stand there both staring in angry silence. Ill usually look away first.

There's this dude and he's really nice, he's good at sports and pretty tall. The problem is he likes me. And I have no interest in him whatsoever. He always complement what I'm wearing and do nice stuff for me. I like him as a friend but nothing more. I feel bad for him.

My dog doesn't seem to like me all that much anymore. We used to be best friends and now she'll avoid me. I dunno what to do. Also my sister just wants to fight me, I try and be nice to her and do what she says. But when she literally for the 400 time orders me to do something she's perfectly capable of doing herself I just can't stand it. We'll get in a big argument which usually ends up with her yelling at me 'You're such a spoiled brat! You're selfish and never want to do anything for anyone!'

That feels good to get off my chest

[Little Hammy Moon]

I just realized that nobody posted here since 2018 but I don't care!

 

I'm worried that in all my school assignments I will do horribly or not complete it in time and get in trouble. I'm often stressed about that.