This section is when you find out your crush wants to go out with you.
Asking Someone for a Date
It seems simple enough, but it can be the most difficult part of a date.
So what do you do?
Biggest clue: THINK AHEAD
You don't want to be standing there going, "Um, ah." when the object of your affection says "Yes." Â
You can't just looked stunned and be too shocked to utter the next sentence.
You can't wait for that very moment to try to think of what on earth you can do on a date.
You need a more impressive beginning.
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If you're at the start of a relationship or asking for a first date, take the pressure off by not using the "D" word.
Don't ask for a "Date" and don't call it a "Date."
If you're uncomfortable saying, "Would you like to go out with me."
Then don't say it.
Make it casual.
But (just a reminder)THINK AHEAD.
Make it specific.
First - two deadly questions NOT to ask:
Do not ask, "You want to go out?" it's too open-ended and can lead to awkward follow up conversation.
Do not ask, "What are you doing Friday night?"
It's too vague. It may leave your potential date wondering exactly what you have in mind.
The other person doesn't know if you're just curious about what she/he is doing on Friday night or if you want to do something with them...
Try something along the lines of:
"You like to rollerblade? I was thinking of going out to the lake on Saturday. It's great out there. Would you like to go with me?"
Or if you're really uncertain or uncomfortable about getting together - go with a group.
Ask the question:
"Hey, there're a bunch of us going bowling on Saturday. Would you like to go?"
The operative word here is "us." It immediately takes the pressure off. Â Â
Planning activities to do on your date and getting together in a group are good ways to go - especially if you think you or your date might get "tongue-tied."
If you're busy or there are a bunch of other people in the conversation, you won't hit awkward silences and won't have to talk all the time if you don't know your date very well.
In summary, just remember when you are asking someone out:
1) Plan ahead
Know what you are going to say AND what you want to suggest to do on the date.
2) Be specific
The other person will be much more comfortable if they know exactly what your intentions are and what you want to do.
AND try to relax and enjoy yourself - worst case - they'll say they can't go out and you'll find someone else who will. Someone who appreciates you.
In other words, if the person you are asking out doesn't have enough insight to recognize what a terrific person you are, then they're just not too bright now, are they?
First Date Tips
Be creative.
Take a little time to think it through.
A three-hour date with a movie that lasts two and a half-hours is not a good way to get acquainted.
Then again, you don't want to be stuck staring at each other without a topic of conversation.
A daytime meeting takes the heat off.
Lunch or coffee is a good start
Even better - a trip to the zoo.
Plenty of topics for discussion without having to deal with issues like: "What happened to your last relationship?"
And you can avoid the usual casual chit-chat like:
"My wife is still missing."
"I met my first boyfriend on the prison bus."
Yada. Yada. Yada.
Clothing
Clothing is not optional.
Wear clothes that make you feel good.
New clothes always help - but if not new, be sure they're clean, pressed, and fit well - or if that's not your style - be sure they fit whatever way makes you feel the most comfortable and still look presentable.
Help the Other Person Feel Comfortable
Find something nice about your date and compliment her or him.
But mean it. Don't just say, "Nice shoes, Gladys."
"Swell belt, Ralph."
Let's review.
Find something nice. If it's painfully difficult to come up with something that you sincerely like about the person, you shouldn't be out with them in the first place.
Manners and/or Kindness
Thank the other person for the date - always, without exception.
Good manners are still in style. Well, not necessarily good manners - but common sense. Human kindness. That sort of thing is always in style.
Focus on the Other Person - pay attention to your date.
No wandering eyes. No preoccupation with old relationships, work, bank robberies.
Be THERE.
Listen actively to what your date says.
Don't interrupt. While your date is talking, don't spend time thinking about what you're going to say when it's your turn.
Attitudes and Habits - stay positive.
Don't complain on a first date.
Be cautious about alcohol - if you drink heavily, you're not going to be at your best.
If your date gets swacked on your first date, it's not necessarily due to nervousness.
He or she is likely to be a heavy-drinker, at best, and could end up drooling on your new, pressed clothes as you shovel him or her into a cab.
[courtesy of links2love].
good luck!
foxxyy
