79 replies to this topic

[midget7]

 

I've seen a lot of posts from people struggling with their mental health (honestly, same). And no wonder, considering the tumultuous, uncertain state the world's been in the past couple of years. We all struggle in different ways, but that doesn't mean we're isolated. Even in this little hamster-loving corner of the internet, we're surrounded by people who care. I wanted to make a thread that focuses on, not mental illness, but mental wellness. A place where you can scroll through and find a sense of calm and self-acceptance on a bad day, regardless of the chaos going on in your life or inside your head.

 

It goes without saying, this is not a substitute for professional help. If you feel like something isn't right, please speak to someone in your life who you trust, and consult a medical professional if needed. If you're in need of urgent help, please see this post for self harm prevention and distress helplines. Below are links for website containing mental health information and resources. (They are UK-based organisations but most of the content is universal.)

 

Mind (for people of all ages): https://www.mind.org.uk/

Young Minds (for children and teenagers): https://www.youngminds.org.uk/

 

Disclaimer: I'm not a professional. I'm just a hot mess, who is learning to be less of a hot mess, and wants to try and help others in the process.

 

My plan is to post as regularly as I can, whenever I come across anything helpful in my own mental health recovery journey that I think is worth sharing. But I don't want this thread to just be me. I'd like to invite you all to join me in posting on here if you have things you would like to contribute. This could be:

 

- self-care tips

- advice for coping with stress, anxiety, low mood, etc.

- experiences / life lessons

- uplifting quotes

- positive affirmations

- poems

- artwork

- helpful websites / resources

- something that makes you smile

- etc.

 

(Basically, anything that you might send to a friend going through a difficult time to help them feel better.)

 

Please do not post any upsetting or triggering content on this thread. I would like this to be a safe space for all. If you wish to vent about something that could be triggering, could I ask that you either make your own thread, or put it in a spoiler with a content warning.

 

I'd also like to add that everyone is welcome here, regardless of who you are, regardless of what is going on in your life. No matter your level of mental health, whether or not you have a diagnosis of mental illness, this thread is for you. We are all human, and we are all worthy of love, support and compassion.

 

 

credit: @morganharpernichols

 

Recently, I treated myself to a book I'd had my eye on for months: The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse by Charlie Mackesy. Reading it was like a warm hug. I devoured the entire book the day it arrived, and still I return to it whenever I'm feeling low. Today, I wanted to share one of my favourite pages with you:

 

 

Text:

"Sometimes," said the horse.

"Sometimes what?" asked the boy.

"Sometimes just getting up and carrying on is brave and magnificent."

 

If you haven't yet today, please give yourself a moment to go outside, get a breath of fresh air, and remind yourself of the vast, incredible world out there waiting for you. I hope your day, or night, is wonderful, despite its imperfections. You are loved, and worthy of love. Take good care of yourself, your body and your mind. If you'd like to chat individually, my PMs are always open. I will drop by again soon. ~m xx

[♥️fluffy♥️]

Wow, this is so well written and beautiful, thank you midget, I am sure this will be helpful to many members, I feel like some of us really needed this, I’m a little busy right now for a longer reply, but, wow, what a wonderful thread! Thank you so much, we really appreciate it!  

Edited by ♥️fluffy♥️, 20 November 2021 - 06:03 AM.

[top tier hippo]

I think this is a really good idea. I've been struggling so much recently, and no one in my family really knows exactly what's going on because I haven't really told them. It's all in my head.

 

Maybe this will help to bring peace to myself and others <3

[HamHamha]

Wow, what a good idea!! I think this could be rly helpful (to me and other members)!!

[midget7]

I think this is a really good idea. I've been struggling so much recently, and no one in my family really knows exactly what's going on because I haven't really told them. It's all in my head.

 

Maybe this will help to bring peace to myself and others <3

 

I'm sorry you've been struggling Hippophile. I can definitely relate to the frustration of everything being inside your head, and no one around you understanding what's going on. Sometimes I feel like there's a war going on inside my head that's invisible to anyone on the outside, and I have no clue how to explain it.

 

The cruel irony is that it makes you feel alone, even when you're surrounded by loved ones. Faking being "okay" is exhausting and bottling it up never helps. I'd encourage you to reach out, even if it's hard to be vulnerable. Is there a particular family member you would feel okay talking to about this? If that's too hard right now, I've found that it helps to vent on a piece of paper. Writing your feelings down helps to transform them from something messy into something more tangible and coherent, and that first step might make it easier for you to start the conversation with someone.

 

I appreciate you sharing this, and I hope things get easier for you. Sending hugs x

[saf]

I think that this is a really nice idea. I definitely think this will be helpful to many people, your first post alone was very calming to read. Thank you for putting in the time to creating a thread like this! 

[top tier hippo]

I'm sorry you've been struggling Hippophile. I can definitely relate to the frustration of everything being inside your head, and no one around you understanding what's going on. Sometimes I feel like there's a war going on inside my head that's invisible to anyone on the outside, and I have no clue how to explain it.

 

The cruel irony is that it makes you feel alone, even when you're surrounded by loved ones. Faking being "okay" is exhausting and bottling it up never helps. I'd encourage you to reach out, even if it's hard to be vulnerable. Is there a particular family member you would feel okay talking to about this? If that's too hard right now, I've found that it helps to vent on a piece of paper. Writing your feelings down helps to transform them from something messy into something more tangible and coherent, and that first step might make it easier for you to start the conversation with someone.

 

I appreciate you sharing this, and I hope things get easier for you. Sending hugs x

Aw, thanks <3

 

I've kind of brought it up with members of my family, but I haven't really gone into that much detail. To be honest, talking to someone about it might not help because my mom is a bit of a "fixer." She always tries to fix problems that arise, and sometimes the only way to fix it is through time. Also, when people say, "You're not alone, we're all struggling with this same issue," it makes me feel like my emotions are...in a way, maybe invalid? Or just not a big deal? It kinda feels as if it's just being swept under the rug because "everyone has the same problem." Is that just me?

 

I have a tendency to, when I encounter issues in my head that are more abstract, confusing, muddled, etc. (example: depression), drown myself in school or something else that is concrete and solid. Some members of my family tell me that it isn't healthy, but it's the only coping mechanism I've found so far that actually helps. No, it isn't good to drown myself in it to the point of getting a headache. But it helps me to feel productive and to actually feel like I'm worth something, if that makes sense.

 

My grades are an average of 95.2%, which is really good, I think. Everybody tells me that. But I tend to set myself impossibly high standards, and I'm not completely satisfied. It makes me feel like trash.

 

Man, why is it so easy to talk about this on an online forum, and not my own family?

 

I mean, a lot of this, I have discussed with my family, but I'm still not happy or content. 

 

I think the best way to describe this is, I can't really feel anything but negativity/anxiety/depression most of the time, even though I am by nature a very happy and bubbly person.

 

*sigh*

[midget7]

I think that this is a really nice idea. I definitely think this will be helpful to many people, your first post alone was very calming to read. Thank you for putting in the time to creating a thread like this! 

 

Thanks saf, I'm glad you found it calming

 

 

Aw, thanks <3

 

I've kind of brought it up with members of my family, but I haven't really gone into that much detail. To be honest, talking to someone about it might not help because my mom is a bit of a "fixer." She always tries to fix problems that arise, and sometimes the only way to fix it is through time. Also, when people say, "You're not alone, we're all struggling with this same issue," it makes me feel like my emotions are...in a way, maybe invalid? Or just not a big deal? It kinda feels as if it's just being swept under the rug because "everyone has the same problem." Is that just me?

 

I have a tendency to, when I encounter issues in my head that are more abstract, confusing, muddled, etc. (example: depression), drown myself in school or something else that is concrete and solid. Some members of my family tell me that it isn't healthy, but it's the only coping mechanism I've found so far that actually helps. No, it isn't good to drown myself in it to the point of getting a headache. But it helps me to feel productive and to actually feel like I'm worth something, if that makes sense.

 

My grades are an average of 95.2%, which is really good, I think. Everybody tells me that. But I tend to set myself impossibly high standards, and I'm not completely satisfied. It makes me feel like trash.

 

Man, why is it so easy to talk about this on an online forum, and not my own family?

 

I mean, a lot of this, I have discussed with my family, but I'm still not happy or content. 

 

I think the best way to describe this is, I can't really feel anything but negativity/anxiety/depression most of the time, even though I am by nature a very happy and bubbly person.

 

*sigh*

 

Thank you for opening up about this, Hippophile. I get where you're coming from -- it can be annoying when someone, who doesn't necessarily understand, thinks that they know best how to help you, or they treat you like a problem to solve. And I absolutely agree, time is necessary for healing, although I personally pefer doing things to actively work towards recovery (such as counselling, prioritising self care, etc.) than passively waiting for a depressive episode to pass. Perhaps, before talking to a family member, you could let them know beforehand that you just want a listening ear, and that you're not looking for advice right now?

 

And feeling like your emotions are invalid is not just you at all. I get it all the time -- a voice in my head that constantly gaslights me. It's true that many, many people struggle with mental health, but that does not mean that it isn't a big deal, or that your own struggle isn't unique to you. I like to remind people they're not alone, as a way of saying, "there is support out there for you and you don't have the struggle through by yourself". I'm definitely not trying to imply, "loads of people deal with this and your issue isn't important". The problem with seeing "mental health" brought up so much in the media now is that it can start to feel almost like a "trend" instead of a debilitating issue that seriously affects people's lives. When mental health issues take hold, they make you feel like you're no longer yourself, and I get the feeling you experience this too. Your emotions are real and are having an impact on you that should be taken seriously.

 

Honestly, studying and grades are such a messy area when mental health gets involved. On the one hand, you want to do well in school and get a sense of achievement. On the other hand, constantly overworking yourself is not sustainable or good for your wellbeing. It's so hard to find a balance without feeling like you're "sacrificing" something.

 

I'm in group therapy (for a bunch of depressed students lol) and in one session we talked about the different harmful behaviours we engage in as coping mechanisms. One of them was overworking. I think there's a lot that can be said for overworking and perfectionism, so I'll probably make a separate post to discuss these issues more generally, if it's okay with you? Hopefully you and others might resonate with it.

[top tier hippo]

Thanks saf, I'm glad you found it calming

 

 

 

Thank you for opening up about this, Hippophile. I get where you're coming from -- it can be annoying when someone, who doesn't necessarily understand, thinks that they know best how to help you, or they treat you like a problem to solve. And I absolutely agree, time is necessary for healing, although I personally pefer doing things to actively work towards recovery (such as counselling, prioritising self care, etc.) than passively waiting for a depressive episode to pass. Perhaps, before talking to a family member, you could let them know beforehand that you just want a listening ear, and that you're not looking for advice right now?

 

And feeling like your emotions are invalid is not just you at all. I get it all the time -- a voice in my head that constantly gaslights me. It's true that many, many people struggle with mental health, but that does not mean that it isn't a big deal, or that your own struggle isn't unique to you. I like to remind people they're not alone, as a way of saying, "there is support out there for you and you don't have the struggle through by yourself". I'm definitely not trying to imply, "loads of people deal with this and your issue isn't important". The problem with seeing "mental health" brought up so much in the media now is that it can start to feel almost like a "trend" instead of a debilitating issue that seriously affects people's lives. When mental health issues take hold, they make you feel like you're no longer yourself, and I get the feeling you experience this too. Your emotions are real and are having an impact on you that should be taken seriously.

 

Honestly, studying and grades are such a messy area when mental health gets involved. On the one hand, you want to do well in school and get a sense of achievement. On the other hand, constantly overworking yourself is not sustainable or good for your wellbeing. It's so hard to find a balance without feeling like you're "sacrificing" something.

 

I'm in group therapy (for a bunch of depressed students lol) and in one session we talked about the different harmful behaviours we engage in as coping mechanisms. One of them was overworking. I think there's a lot that can be said for overworking and perfectionism, so I'll probably make a separate post to discuss these issues more generally, if it's okay with you? Hopefully you and others might resonate with it.

I would definitely read that post if you do decide to make it. I'm not really sure where I stand in regards to it. It's difficult because I actually really enjoy school. It's fun. People think I'm weird for that, and I suppose I am, but there it is and it can't be helped. However, that makes it difficult to draw the line between overworking and just doing something I enjoy, I guess.

 

I did have a talk with my mom and my sister last night, and even though I don't really know how to dig myself out of the hole I'm in, I feel better. It's always like that for me. Talking has always helped. Perhaps I just didn't really understand how much talking would help until now. 

 

I feel significantly more positive and more like myself than I've felt in a while. 

 

As I said, I still don't really know how to fix everything, but I have a gut feeling that if I just practice self-care, continue with my school but not push myself over the edge with it (which I've been known to do), and try to enjoy life, this will all pass with time. My natural optimism will also help with this, most likely, because it's usually pretty easy for me to see the good side, the benefits, to everything, including struggles.

 

I totally understand what you mean, though, when you say mental illness is a "trend." It seems as if it's "cool" to have it, and while I understand and can personally relate, it makes no sense. It's not cool to struggle all the time. It isn't enjoyable. My family (both sides) have a lot of mental illness, my brother has a condition that I won't disclose for personal reasons ( ), so it isn't surprising at all that my siblings and I are prone to depression/anxiety, etc.

 

Obviously, you don't know me personally. But would you have any tips to try to get myself out of the rut I've fallen into? Like...I guess self-care?

 

Thanks <3

[Lightning~]

This Is such a good Idea

Thanks for taking the time to make it

I'll post things I'm struggling with later-

[midget7]

I would definitely read that post if you do decide to make it. I'm not really sure where I stand in regards to it. It's difficult because I actually really enjoy school. It's fun. People think I'm weird for that, and I suppose I am, but there it is and it can't be helped. However, that makes it difficult to draw the line between overworking and just doing something I enjoy, I guess.

 

I did have a talk with my mom and my sister last night, and even though I don't really know how to dig myself out of the hole I'm in, I feel better. It's always like that for me. Talking has always helped. Perhaps I just didn't really understand how much talking would help until now. 

 

I feel significantly more positive and more like myself than I've felt in a while. 

 

As I said, I still don't really know how to fix everything, but I have a gut feeling that if I just practice self-care, continue with my school but not push myself over the edge with it (which I've been known to do), and try to enjoy life, this will all pass with time. My natural optimism will also help with this, most likely, because it's usually pretty easy for me to see the good side, the benefits, to everything, including struggles.

 

I totally understand what you mean, though, when you say mental illness is a "trend." It seems as if it's "cool" to have it, and while I understand and can personally relate, it makes no sense. It's not cool to struggle all the time. It isn't enjoyable. My family (both sides) have a lot of mental illness, my brother has a condition that I won't disclose for personal reasons ( ), so it isn't surprising at all that my siblings and I are prone to depression/anxiety, etc.

 

Obviously, you don't know me personally. But would you have any tips to try to get myself out of the rut I've fallen into? Like...I guess self-care?

 

Thanks <3

 

Ah I see what you mean about the studying. It is hard to define a cutoff point, since a "healthy" amount of studying depends so much on the individual and their circumstances. Personally, I'd say studying becomes too much when it takes over other important aspects of your life, such as self-care, leisure, relationships with others, or when you start hating it and feel burnt out and miserable. You're not weird for enjoying school - there are loads of study enthusiasts out there! I am honestly envious of that - it seems like such a useful thing to enjoy xD My coping mechanism is the complete opposite to yours - avoiding studying entirely!

 

I'm really glad talking to your mom and sister was helpful. It's okay if you don't know exactly how to get out of this - talking to someone about it is already a positive step forward

 

I admire your optimism! It's definitely more difficult to think positively when you're feeling low, but I'm sure that believing you'll get better with time will serve you well in recovery <3 

 

I couldn't agree with you more - mental illness is not enjoyable and not something I'd wish on anyone to be honest. I'm glad it's being spoken about and normalised, but that doesn't mean it's "cool" to have one - that sort of narrative trivialises the real issues and shame people experience and makes it harder to even want to get better from it.

 

Ah goodness, I'm not sure where to start with mental health and self care tips. It's such a complex topic and, like I said before, I think I'll dedicate individual posts to talking about it in more depth. Self care is different for everyone, but, as a general rule, I like to think of it as looking after yourself the way you might look after a small child.

 

credit: @journey_to_wellness_

 

You wouldn't let a small child spend all day studying without any breaks, but you also wouldn't let her spend the entire day in front of a laptop watching netflix or playing video games.

 

On a bad day, I strip self care down to the bare minimum - get up, eat, have a shower, go outside for a walk. On a day where I have more energy I might try to do some journalling and exercise. It's good to identify activities that give you enjoyment and comfort, and consistently make time for them in your day. Being kind to yourself is so important, both externally and inside your head. And don't be disheartened if you feel like self care isn't getting you anywhere. Mental health recovery is not linear. That's one reason I like to keep a journal - I can read back at old days where I was at my lowest and realised that things are improving, slowly but surely, and that helps me to keep going.

 

Sorry for the wishy-washy answer. Hopefully I'll get a chance to post more self-care stuff down the line and provide more ideas

[top tier hippo]

Ah I see what you mean about the studying. It is hard to define a cutoff point, since a "healthy" amount of studying depends so much on the individual and their circumstances. Personally, I'd say studying becomes too much when it takes over other important aspects of your life, such as self-care, leisure, relationships with others, or when you start hating it and feel burnt out and miserable. You're not weird for enjoying school - there are loads of study enthusiasts out there! I am honestly envious of that - it seems like such a useful thing to enjoy xD My coping mechanism is the complete opposite to yours - avoiding studying entirely!

 

I'm really glad talking to your mom and sister was helpful. It's okay if you don't know exactly how to get out of this - talking to someone about it is already a positive step forward

 

I admire your optimism! It's definitely more difficult to think positively when you're feeling low, but I'm sure that believing you'll get better with time will serve you well in recovery <3 

 

I couldn't agree with you more - mental illness is not enjoyable and not something I'd wish on anyone to be honest. I'm glad it's being spoken about and normalised, but that doesn't mean it's "cool" to have one - that sort of narrative trivialises the real issues and shame people experience and makes it harder to even want to get better from it.

 

Ah goodness, I'm not sure where to start with mental health and self care tips. It's such a complex topic and, like I said before, I think I'll dedicate individual posts to talking about it in more depth. Self care is different for everyone, but, as a general rule, I like to think of it as looking after yourself the way you might look after a small child.

 

credit: @journey_to_wellness_

 

You wouldn't let a small child spend all day studying without any breaks, but you also wouldn't let her spend the entire day in front of a laptop watching netflix or playing video games.

 

On a bad day, I strip self care down to the bare minimum - get up, eat, have a shower, go outside for a walk. On a day where I have more energy I might try to do some journalling and exercise. It's good to identify activities that give you enjoyment and comfort, and consistently make time for them in your day. Being kind to yourself is so important, both externally and inside your head. And don't be disheartened if you feel like self care isn't getting you anywhere. Mental health recovery is not linear. That's one reason I like to keep a journal - I can read back at old days where I was at my lowest and realised that things are improving, slowly but surely, and that helps me to keep going.

 

Sorry for the wishy-washy answer. Hopefully I'll get a chance to post more self-care stuff down the line and provide more ideas

No, no, no, it's not wishy-washy. This was actually very helpful. Thanks <3

[midget7]

Hey, will you pause your scrolling and take a minute with me?

 

Breathe in. Breathe out. 

Relax your shoulders.

Unclench your jaw, let your tongue drop from the roof of your mouth.

From your head to your toes, feel every muscle in your body loosen.

Allow yourself a moment to let go of the stress and tension you've been holding.

 

Breathe. Relax. You've got this <3

~m

 

 

credit: @daylightillustrations

[saf]

Another great post! I really enjoy all of the visuals that you have added as well, so thank you for including those!

[Iszie]

Edited by Iszie, 23 November 2021 - 06:35 PM.