79 replies to this topic

[♥️fluffy♥️]

It’s schoolwork for me, I find maths the hardest, I’ll stare at my book or screen unable to function feeling exhausted even if I just got up, I sometimes nearly start crying, maths is too much for me, I get good grades, so it looks like I’m doing well, but it’s way too much for me, I spoke to my parents about the curriculum and said that it was too much for me, but since I get good grades I have to stay on the course even thought there are other options. I got a bad grade for the first time in maths and now I have to do more studying and maths on the weekends, I just end up breaking down like I can’t cope with it anymore. I’ve come to hate maths so much, I dread it every morning. It drains my energy so much, that I’m not functioning a yo ore, I just can’t do it. Schoolwork gets in the way of everything, I don’t know what to do, I’m not understanding it anymore.

I know this will probably so sound immature and stupid, apologies.

Edited by ♥️fluffy♥️, 23 November 2021 - 06:39 PM.

[midget7]

Another great post! I really enjoy all of the visuals that you have added as well, so thank you for including those!

 

Thanks Saf! Glad to hear you like the visuals - all are from mental health instagram pages that I personally find very calming and bring some much-needed positivity to my feed (Also, your siggy has a lovely message! <3)

 

 

 

This is wonderful, Iszie, thank you for sharing <3

[midget7]

It’s schoolwork for me, I find maths the hardest, I’ll stare at my book or screen unable to function feeling exhausted even if I just got up, I sometimes nearly start crying, maths is too much for me, I get good grades, so it looks like I’m doing well, but it’s way too much for me, I spoke to my parents about the curriculum and said that it was too much for me, but since I get good grades I have to stay on the course even thought there are other options. I got a bad grade for the first time in maths and now I have to do more studying and maths on the weekends, I just end up breaking down like I can’t cope with it anymore. I’ve come to hate maths so much, I dread it every morning. It drains my energy so much, that I’m not functioning a yo ore, I just can’t do it. Schoolwork gets in the way of everything, I don’t know what to do, I’m not understanding it anymore.

I know this will probably so sound immature and stupid, apologies.

 

 

You have nothing to apologise for, fluffy. You aren't being immature. Honestly, I think people of all ages struggle with being overwhelmed by work and studies sometimes. I've definitely had times I've cried over maths questions, and it's not fun at all! 

 

Is there anything specific that stresses you out about maths or schoolwork? Is it a certain maths topic, or studying in general? What is it you hate about maths? Is it the subject itself, or the feeling you get when you struggle to understand it?

 

You don't have to share your answers to any of these questions if you're not comfortable. But have a think about them, as it might help you to understand what's making you so worked up.

 

This is a video about maths anxiety. I'm not sure how much it relates to you, but it might be worth watching to see if anything resonates. People with maths anxiety aren't necessarily bad at maths, but find it more difficult to perform to their potential due to all of their worries and anxious thoughts taking up brain space!

 

 

I think it would help to build a more positive relationship with maths. Maybe go back to past topics that you found easy, and try a few of those questions. Remind yourself of the satisfaction of understanding the maths and getting the questions right. Listen to some music, make yourself a nice hot drink. Make the experience as pleasant for yourself as possible, so studying maths at home doesn't feel quite as torturous. Break studying up into small sessions, 10 or 15 minutes, even, and build this up as you gain confidence. Reward yourself after each session, and tell yourself how awesome you are for making progress with your maths, even though you find it hard

 

If there are particular topics and questions you don't understand, do you have a teacher you could go to for help? Or, if that's too intimidating, maybe find a classmate who's good at maths and ask them to explain things to you?

 

It's important to get into the right mindset for work, which is much easier said than done. But it's no good forcing yourself to work to the point of emotional breakdown. If you find yourself getting upset or panicky, take some deep breaths. Maybe go outside for a quick walk to calm down and clear your head. If you can't answer a maths question, the best thing is to leave it, move on to the next question, and come back to it later. Chances are, looking at the question with fresh eyes will make it seem more managable. If you find yourself thinking those pesky negative thoughts of "I can't do this", "I'm useless", catch yourself, and rephrase: "I'm finding it hard it right now, but that's okay. I will improve with time and practice."

 

Best of luck to you <3 (Also, if you get stuck on maths questions, feel free to PM me - I've tutored maths before and I'll be more than happy to help you!)

[lil BIG dwarf]

Edited by lil BIG dwarf, 24 November 2021 - 06:49 AM.

[Lightning~]

Deleted

Edited by Lighting, 24 February 2022 - 05:13 AM.

[ajuniceu~]

I don't know if I really dislike human touch or just people in general and honestly I'm confused. 

 

Spoiler

My doctor said getting a massage would help with my joint issues, so I went to go for one. I didn't want to though, but my mom already pre paid and I'm terrified to ask my parents for anything so what could I do? I got an anxiety attack, when they left the room for me to get ready, and then the whole time I had trouble breathing, was feeling super nauseous,  shortness of breath and was literally holding in crying. It felt disgusting and I couldn't handle it and not long after I left I had a full blown breakdown and then panic attack. I'm not sure what I'm going to do going forth as I was told to go every month to help with my joint issues but I'm too scared to let alone ask my parents for a new sweater or shoes so I have no idea whatsoever how I will go about with this.

 

I did some searching and I don't know if I might have this phobia which could be a cause. https://www.healthline.com/health/haphephobia#symptoms

 

Literally the only touch I like is from animals and even then it's only my rabbit when she grooms me or nudges me. I can tolerate giving a short hug to my grandparents but that's about it, I can't hug my friends or family without feeling sick.

[midget7]

Hey, this is a gentle reminder that this thread is intended to be a safe and positive space to promote mental wellbeing.

 

If you would like advice for specific mental health difficulties, you are more likely to get a wider response if you make your own topic rather than posting here. That being said, it's not my intention to reject anyone. If you feel more comfortable posting here, you are welcome to. I will try my best to respond to everything and offer support, but please keep in mind that I am not a therapist and will not have all the answers. 

 

To those following this thread, if you have any advice or support to offer the members on here, please do respond to them! It would be lovely to hear different viewpoints, and I am sure there are others who are able to give more knowledgeable advice than me!

 

 

I donno how to start

 

I guess... I just feel like I don't fit in.

Nobody I know gets as emotinal as I do, and often let things go, and I don't.

For example; me and my brother got in a fight last night and I haven't said anything nice to him since.

I can never foucus on anything. I think and am sure I have ADHD and Dyscalculia. My school work is never fully done and I often just feel like giving up on everything that I have to put effort into. 

When someone tells me to do something, I will get to it, but I might not do it right away. I've told people that, but they always say it's a poor exuse and I need to get things done when I'm asked.

 

I've told my mom I think I have bipolar, ADHD, and possibly autism (without sensory issues), and she cares, but she also seems to not. Is there something that's like BPD, ADHD/ADD, and ASD (Without sensory issues) mixed?

 

I hate most parts of myself. I get extrame body dysmorphia and gender dysmorphia, 24 hours, 7 days a week. Adults tell you that nobody cares what you look like, but that feels very untrue in every way. If people stop caring about themselves, they'll start caring about what you look and act like.

 

This sounds really difficult. I'm sorry to hear how much you've been struggling, Lightning

 

I don't have first-hand experience with any of the disorders you've mentioned so I'm afraid I'm not in a position to give advice on them. I believe that most people with autism experience sensory issues, but some don't. Only a medical professional can diagnose you. The first step would be to speak to your doctor about it. Do you think you could ask your mom to make an appointment for you? Maybe you could print out the symptoms of ADHD, BPD, ASD and circle the ones that apply to you? That would help give you the words to describe what you're experiencing, and may prompt her to take you more seriously. If not, there are likely to be staff at your school who work with SEN (special education needs) students, and will have the resources and training to help you. Talk to them if you can, and they might be able to have a discussion with your mom on how to support you. I'd also recommend seeing a counsellor, if your school has access to one.

 

It's true that there will be people who care what you look like. Often, people who put down other's appearances are insecure about their own. On the flip side, I'm sure there are people out there who think you have a lovely appearance! As with all things, you're always going to get differing opinions, but these opinions are irrelevant. What matters most is how you see yourself. I hope that, in time, you're able to accept yourself and learn to love your body for its beauty and all the amazing things it can do <3

 

Some body neutral affirmations for you, my friend:

 

 

credit: @daylightillustrations

 

 

I don't know if I really dislike human touch or just people in general and honestly I'm confused. 

 

Spoiler

My doctor said getting a massage would help with my joint issues, so I went to go for one. I didn't want to though, but my mom already pre paid and I'm terrified to ask my parents for anything so what could I do? I got an anxiety attack, when they left the room for me to get ready, and then the whole time I had trouble breathing, was feeling super nauseous,  shortness of breath and was literally holding in crying. It felt disgusting and I couldn't handle it and not long after I left I had a full blown breakdown and then panic attack. I'm not sure what I'm going to do going forth as I was told to go every month to help with my joint issues but I'm too scared to let alone ask my parents for a new sweater or shoes so I have no idea whatsoever how I will go about with this.

 

I did some searching and I don't know if I might have this phobia which could be a cause. https://www.healthline.com/health/haphephobia#symptoms

 

Literally the only touch I like is from animals and even then it's only my rabbit when she grooms me or nudges me. I can tolerate giving a short hug to my grandparents but that's about it, I can't hug my friends or family without feeling sick.

 

Hmm, I think it would be a good idea to speak to your doctor about potential haphephobia and the distress you experience during massages, otherwise they may continue to recommend them without being aware of the harm they're causing you. I'm sorry you don't feel able to talk to your parents about this. I do think the massages need to stop, though, at least for now, considering the serious reaction you're having to them. Could you let the massage person (masseuse? idk) know that you're uncomfortable with it? 

 

In the longer term, I think that learning to manage your anxiety and panic attacks (e.g. using breathing and grounding techniques) would help with coping with skin-on-skin contact as well. There are lots of resources online that explain this far better than I could. (Apologies if you've already tried this.) Do you have access to a counsellor or therapist who can help guide you through this? 

 

It's a difficult situation to be in, and I'm sorry I can't be of more help :( - the website on haphephobia has far more information than what I can give. Hoping things improve for you soon *safely distanced air hug*

 

This isn't mental health advice in the slightest, but there's a YA fantasy book duology called Six of Crows. The main character, Kaz, has haphephobia (and is also a total bad*ss). I thought of it when I read your post. Would honestly recommend those books, not only because of the representation and potential validation (yay!) but because they're genuinely just great books

[BobaTad~HH]

Thank you for making this! I know I'm a bit late, but can I join? My mental state isn't well... ):

[Whitewhiskers]

I donno how to start

 

I guess... I just feel like I don't fit in.

Nobody I know gets as emotinal as I do, and often let things go, and I don't.

For example; me and my brother got in a fight last night and I haven't said anything nice to him since.

I can never foucus on anything. I think and am sure I have ADHD and Dyscalculia. My school work is never fully done and I often just feel like giving up on everything that I have to put effort into. 

When someone tells me to do something, I will get to it, but I might not do it right away. I've told people that, but they always say it's a poor exuse and I need to get things done when I'm asked, and I try but it's hard.

 

I've told my mom I think I have bipolar, ADHD, and possibly autism (without sensory issues), and she cares, but she also seems to not. Is there something that's like BPD, ADHD/ADD, and ASD (Without sensory issues) mixed?

 

I hate most parts of myself. I get extrame body dysmorphia and gender dysmorphia, 24 hours, 7 days a week. Adults tell you that nobody cares what you look like, but that feels very untrue in every way. If people stop caring about themselves, they'll start caring about what you look and act like.

Tbh Lightning, you just described my life. Not sure what else to say, but that’s pretty weird that we are that similar.

 

I mean, when you have strong ADHD it’s basically like having ADHD, BPD, and ASD. Trust me I thought I had all of them, turns out it’s all just ADHD. It mimicks a lot of disorders. It also causes you to be a lot more emotional than others. ADHD is commonly misdiagnosed as Bipolar and vice versa, and autism and ADHD share a lot of traits. 
 

I have dyscalculia too, it’s also caused by my ADHD. So it really does sound like you just have ADHD tbh.

 

I have severe body dysmorphia too, and not really with gender dysmorphia but idrk with that it’s a little confusing. But with the body dysmorphia, you gotta realize it’s a disorder. That’s not what you look like. Idk if that helps but it does for me. But like, most of the flaws you see just like literally aren’t there. If you really looked as weird as you thought, why do people not treat you like a monster? 
 

trust me, people aren’t as judgemental as they seem. A lot of people really don’t care, and plus why spend time worrying about if they like you and more about if you like them? Do they look perfect and amazing? Do you wanna be friends? Why do you care what they think? 
 

anyway, you’re not at all alone. If a random hamster forum person relates to you word by word, doesn’t that tell you that out of 8 billion people that all fit in fine and all have their struggles can also relate?

 

there is no fitting it, everyone is different. <3

[BobaTad~HH]

Yeah, tbh I have ADHD,and it's pretty bad... I can't pay attention to anything, I'm losing friends due to talking WAAY too much, and such. I will hopefully get some medicine soon.

[midget7]

Thank you for making this! I know I'm a bit late, but can I join? My mental state isn't well... ):

 

Of course, there's no need to ask. This thread is for everyone, regardless of what your mental health is like. I hope you will find things on here that you can relate to, and that you can access treatment for your adhd soon <3

 

 

 

trust me, people aren’t as judgemental as they seem. A lot of people really don’t care, and plus why spend time worrying about if they like you and more about if you like them? Do they look perfect and amazing? Do you wanna be friends? Why do you care what they think? 

 

anyway, you’re not at all alone. If a random hamster forum person relates to you word by word, doesn’t that tell you that out of 8 billion people that all fit in fine and all have their struggles can also relate?

 

there is no fitting it, everyone is different. <3

 

Thanks for sharing your experience, Whitewhiskers! I don't have personal experience with ADHD so it's great to learn more about it and have you contribute to the thread with your advice! And the above is worded so beautifully and I'm sure will be comforting to anyone reading it 

[Lightning~]

 

Edited by Lighting, 24 February 2022 - 05:14 AM.

[Remy]

Also, take meds if you want, not stopping you, but I've heard they make you feel zombie-ish and can cause headaches q:

Medication doesn’t work for everyone, but when used properly and prescribed by a doctor, it helps the majority of people who take it. Many people I’m close with have mental health issues (such as anxiety, ADHD, and depression) and are currently taking medication. It’s helped each and every one of them immensely with managing their symptoms. Recommending others not to take medication simply because you’ve heard about some potential side effects could be unnecessarily driving people away from something that could really help them.

[BobaTad~HH]

Yeah, I do agree. I am still being tested though, so it COULD be a anxiety disorder.

[lil BIG dwarf]

Spoiler

School sucks. In general I like it, but I’m horrible with math. Overall I’m alright at it-I’m not great but I can do what’s expected of me most of the time. It’s when it comes to doing simple subtraction and addition that I mess up-I accidentally confuse the signs (- and +) and mess up (and I like to use pen often :/), I write messily and tend to rip the erasers off my pencils so nothing makes sense when I submit work. It’s even worse with division because I *cannot* do long division. It’s been retaught to me multiple times and I’m good at it for a bit, but then I forget and it’s the embarrassing situation where someone tries to help me and they think I’m joking because I’m doing it wrong. I can use a calculator well, but I can never remember the systems for how to do specific equations for more than a day, sometimes less. It’s like I’m behind everyone else in some ways, but good in other ways and it sucks. I have Math on Monday and it’s like 80 minutes of <basement>. 80 minutes of being behind everyone else, just barely holding on and pretending to know what I’m doing. More specifically, I submitted some work on Tuesday which sucked. I know I got most of it wrong and a lot of it isn’t readable, and it’ll be graded and given back to me, and I’ll likely have to redo it. I don’t want to.